just 1 night. thank you.
Give yourself a big hug for making it through this year.
this is the closest I have ever felt to not wanting to exist
Belinda: Break-up piercings are satisfying.
Me: Yeah, you get the satisfaction of hurting yourself without hurting yourself.
-
Pain level was a 4/10. It felt good, if anything :b Then again, needles aren’t too scary for me.
The Office literally makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it. Amazing
“Break often - not like porcelain, but like waves.”
— Scherezade Siobhan, from “Survival Kit”
(via modern-touch)
I watched another video today. We were lying down. Matt was tapping my leg as he listened to music. I was wearing a pair of my new socks that he scored from the flea market. I threatened to fart on his bed, lolol.
The video had me smiling in spite of how I felt. I acknowledged this emotion. I even said it out loud. “You’re sad, and that’s okay.”
My therapist told me to assess how my body felt after that. I felt warm. Still. Tranquil. A dull pain in my chest. The warmth reminded me of the sort of warmth you feel when someone sitting next to you stands up and leaves. You still feel their body heat at your side for a few seconds.
The saddest pt of my Christmas so far was receiving a polite greeting, via text, from Matt and finding a place to hide and cry at my uncle’s house. I ended up on the garage floor.
I wanna die. Don’t txt me. I’m not gonna do it. Just let me say it.
Me: You don’t need a partner to be happy, silly!!!
The Devil: You will never find someone who will fully accept you or your family; instead, you will attempt to navigate difficult relationships for the rest of your life. Besides, you have no good examples of a healthy long-term relationship. Sorryboutit.
good mourning sesh. I looked at photos and videos and cried some more. I feel relieved
I want answers. How long do I wait? Another month? Do I ask? Or no. I don’t know what to do.